Happy New Year to you all and a very warm welcome back to
your regular(ish) Friday night football review from the hurly-burly, rough and
tumble world of Coram Fields.
Two games to report on as we head feet first into 2017,
along with a player of the year award presentation. Firstly, we have the inaugural
game of the New Year to reflect on – here were your teams:
Yellows – me, Andy, Nick, Mark, Danny, Joe, Yev
(eventually), Steve and Mario
Blues – Ian Gooner, Simon Gas, David, Simon Ink, Tony,
Peter, Liam, Alan and Ross
A slow burner this one, with the initial proceedings
tempered by a lack of players as people gradually dribbled onto the pitch, with
each side eventually evolving into the final line-ups shown above. Simon Ink
actually started for the Yellow team – and opened the scoring – before the
Morgan Stanley contingent and the perennially tardy Yev arrived. Simon Ink had
by this stage reverted to his original colour team and the Blues ran out
winners by something like two clear goals, with all of the usual suspects
getting in on the scoring, including Alan, (disclaimer: I’m not sure if he did,
but I’ve learned to find it politic to state that he’s scored, just in case I’ve
missed something).
Just the odd bit of drama to report on as Nick and Tony
exchanged New Year’s pleasantries, no doubt born of being cooped up with
recalcitrant family members over the festive period. Who had that last jar of
pickled onions?
Joe received his 2016 Ballon D’Or / Golden Plimsoll award in
the Skinners after the game to universal acclaim and a series of high fives
from some Spanish teenagers. Simon’s largesse had stretched to a bottle of
Lanson champagne to mark the occasion – no modish Italian fizz for the Muswell
Hillbilly – and much merriment was made, including a discussion of whether or
not the CIA would rub out the President-elect this side of the inauguration.
Onto this week’s game, which gave me the slightly difficult
task of picking two even teams from an odd number of players. Happily, this
proved to be no challenge for the Player Attributes Scoring System, as the
final score and general tenor of the match proved. Here’s what said system came
up with:
Yellows – Tony, Steve, the prodigal Geoff, Antonio, Nick,
Danny, Mario and Liam
Blues – Ian Baggies, Simon Gas, me, Andy, Joe, Mark, Mick,
Yev and Ross
As you can see the Blues had the extra man, while the
Yellows had the extra ability.
A nine-goal thriller ensued, with Ross opening the scoring
in the first few seconds to start the ball rolling on what consensus held to be
a very good game. Just the one latecomer this week, with Mick eventually
rocking up at around ten past seven, but by this stage the Yellows had levelled
things up. Thereafter no one team got more than a goal ahead of their opponents
as the lead changed hands several times.
In amongst the goals this week, as well as Ross (who later
scored a fine drilled finish over the ‘keeper’s head) were Mario and Tony, who picked
out two excellent finishes into the bottom corners, as well as Steve who nodded
home from close range following a corner. Yev also smashed one home as Geoff
could only parry with his feet and into the back of the net, but it was Liam
who had the final word for the Yellow team.
By the latter stages of the match Antonio, Danny, Mario,
Tony and Nick were pinging the ball around to the general dismay of their
opposition who I think it’s fair to say lacked the guile to hang onto the ball
in midfield, for all of their potency on the break.
As the game wound down, Antonio handled a backpass and in
the ensuing debate as to whether to award an indirect free kick, or rather more
sportingly, kick the ball back upfield for a Blue goalkick, Liam decided to
stray off script and score a goal, which was quite rightly chalked off.
However, this had the apparent effect of giving the Yellow
team an undeserved sense of injustice and just before the final whistle Liam
rattled down the Blues’ right hand flank, jinked past Andy and slammed the ball
into the bottom corner.
Final score: Yellows – 5 Blues – 4
I think that it’s right to declare football the real winner,
as the late Graham Taylor may well have said.
No pub for me this week, so your report ends there.
Until next time…
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